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…to your wife, who already thinks you’re pretty crazy.
“But if we ever try to have a third kid, and we had triplets, then we would have five kids! And where would we put them!?”
…to your wife when caring for your week old son.
“What do you mean ‘uh-oh’?”
“Well, I don’t think the table is a very good place to change him.”
“Because his head just went ‘THUNK!’.”
…when you’re supposed to have a baby any moment and call him at work.
“Hey! Guess what!!?”
“Oh, no, no baby. I just wanted to tell you I picked up our curtains!”