I was pregnant. Until I wasn’t.

Today, I should be going for my very first ultrasound, seeing our baby for the first time, and excitedly telling people about my pregnancy. Instead, I’m looking forward to my bloodwork on Friday and finding out if my hormone levels have returned to normal.

It’s been over a week since I found out for sure we lost the baby, two weeks today that I suspected that might be happening. The past two weeks have been so very hard, scary when I didn’t know what exactly was happening or what to expect, then just hard in so many ways. But my husband really stepped up to the plate and took care of Colton for an entire week while I laid in bed. Friends brought us meals, and two great ladies sent me a “box of love” with various special things for me to enjoy. Colton is also the greatest toddler ever, and I am so very, very thankful he’s around.

I’m expecting today to be hard. And other days like my estimated due date and Christmas, when we’ll have one child when we would have had two. But, I am also confident that things will get better. Eventually, I’ll be pregnant again and eventually we’ll have another child.

But waiting is hard, until then.